12 Aug 2004

Well, this week we purchased the most costly vehicle we have ever imagined, and I quit my job.
Of course, as this is a very small town, everyone knew I was quitting my job, so that wasn't much of a surprise. It's just official now. And since I haven't brought the vehicle to Hancock yet, no one can be really sure if I actually got the truck. Seein's believin', you know.

We left the truck at my son's house for one simple reason. It's a dually ... or is that dualie ... (duallie?) (duelie?) ... it's got that rear axle with four tires that make it seem like you are hanging over both sides of your lane, especially when you have the nerve enough to look out the side mirrors and say "What the hell are those giant steel bubbles sticking out of the side?" Well, the truck width would make it down my narrow rear driveway, but not without scratching my shiny new bubbles. I could cut the bushes down, but that's too much work. They are giant bushes. Also, the length of this rig is such that if someone parks across from my driveway, I don't think the turn out to the street is possible, again without taking out either a bush or a telephone pole.

I've never been much interested in cars or trucks. Donna got the new vehicles, and I got what ever was left over that was running best at the time. And that was just fine. If it could get me there, that was all I needed. I never read the Auto section of the Sunday paper, and I don't understand the appeal of NASCAR. But we needed a hefty puller, and after much study, endless contradictory advice from friends, and comparison shopping, we finally selected the one that Donna felt was the prettiest ... for a truck.

It's a Chevy Silvarado 3500, diesel, 1-ton, crew cab, long bed. It's silver, with a pimp-mobile trim package, and an interior that cost the hides of at least five heifers. It's got heated seats that electrically adjust to 81,000 positions, and from the smile on Donna's face, I do believe she has found the vibrator button. The Bose stereo system will eat 6 CDs at a time. Front and back drink holders will handle 22 Super Slupers. It's got buttons and controls that I have no idea what they might do, and they have pictures on the controls that you cannot decipher. It has a vehicle manual that is longer and heaver than the King James Bible. It has Onstar, which I have serious concerns about. Some Onstar customer service dude in India will always know where I am. I think Onstar was designed only so that the banks can repossess vehicles easily.

But we didn't go crazy on the truck. We had them remove the wide screen plasma TV and the hot tub.
Several people have asked what we are going to name it. I've never named a vehicle in my life. (Well, with the possible exception of my first car that was a $300 French Simca I called Pieceashit.) But if names are important to many of you, we will welcome suggestions and give them serious consideration.
I think we got the truck on Monday evening. On Tuesday, we made arrangements to auction most of our worldly possessions (it's amazing how many of your possessions are a collection of hand-me-downs, birthday gifts, wedding gifts, Xmas gifts, and assorted things you need to fix a house or fix a yard or keep all that gift stuff clean or running.) Also on Tuesday, the buyers came by with their contractor, so they could plan how to renovate the house for a B&B. If they do a nice job on it, Donna will trade a web site for an extended stay. On Wednesday, we had a marathon Town Meeting. Don't know why it took three hours, but I had to stay because the last item was "Town Manager Resignation". There was not a dry eye in the house, only because the Town Hall Meeting Room is not air conditioned and everyone was sweating buckets after three hours. On Thursday, we visited a RV manufacturing plant in Winchester, which was a very educational experience. The Plant Manager gave us a two-hour tour, and answered all our dumb questions extremely well. Thursday evening we had a nice dinner with the Whites, and Bob said we might be able to talk Circus into taking one of our cats. (LET ME KNOW CIRCUS! Gizmo needs a home, as he vomits when he smells diesel fuel.)

Somewhere in there, we emptied 1/2 of the attic, and are filling a gallon jug with dead spiders.
That's enough for this evening. Will keep you updated with late breaking news, and we hope that hurricane Charlie does not spawn a tornado that wipes out 10 West Main, Hancock, MD, 21750 before settlement date.

G'nite.--
The Logans